Forgive me if I seem to hate you
It’s the only way not to miss you…
If you’re wondering if I still love you,
If I need you like I used to
I do…
:’(
‘Don’t you know I miss you bad
But don’t you walk to me
I need you in a rush
So baby run..’
I will miss you forever Troy…
Rest in peace…
I’ll see you soon…
I love you..
♥
Yen
I was bored and was lazily poring over some sites when suddenly, like a mosquito bite pricking the wits out of me, transporting me back from a lucid nonsensical thought to a sudden realization that hey- that bugger bit me!, I suddenly remember this blog. Yeah, like out of nowhere, just like that.
Then I had to try on two different passwords before finally getting it right. It was that so long ago… But anywho, I am so back. I guess in here, I can just blab about whatever. ..
Going over my posts, I found it embarrassing and funny to have said things as such. But I can’t really beat myself up over it. Despite the wrong grammars and the lack of strong words used, my posts then were honest and heart-felt… So I’ll just let them be. All my previous posts were of things that was…
Getting to this new post, I don’t really have anything special to say, but, welcome back! Make your posts count you booger!
I guess my next topic would be a book review of an awesome story I just finished last night. It’s called Two Lovers and a Lipstick. Awesome book. If you’re a woman, you’ll enjoy it. If you’re a man, be ready to cringe on makeup and lingerie. But I know you lit up on that last one.
Until then!
Bisous!
I said two days ago that I’m gonna try harder not to be late for work. And I indeed got better!
I wasn’t late 2 days in a row. Yepee!
Keep it coming! Hope this would really go on. 
This is definitely better!
I was late to work. Again!
Damn.
To think I even have my new year’s resolution about going to work ON TIME. Oh my, oh my…
This sleeping in is a disease! I think I can expect a notice anytime now.
Grrr… Frustrating, hilarious, and not a very good thing to do.
I’ll try again tomorrow…
My thoughts have been unsettled for quite some time now. I’ve been worrying about the new changes in my life and thinking about their uncertainty makes me feel frustrated, sad and restless. I don’t know what good is waiting for me at this career change I’m in right now. I feel so unsure whether I have made the right choice or not. Failing would be a terrible shame. Shame because a lot is expected from me. I guess being so good has its down side. When a lot is expected from you, you feel pressured in making decisions. At this point of my life right now I can’t afford to fail. I’m not getting any younger and my time limit is near. I guess this is my last chance to make things right and to make things out of myself.
I can’t help but feel sad about this whole situation. I feel like I have no one to turn to and no one to talk to. There’s no one to assure me that things will be ok. If only I can fore tell the future and see which decisions will bring good results. But I guess life doesn’t happen that way. I need to skim through life blind and in darkness. I guess I will only have laughter to tell me whether I was right, or tears to tell me that I was wrong.
I really don’t know what to do right now. These emotions just won’t settle down. I’m scared, I’m sad, I’m… I really don’t know anymore.
Shower me with roses, shower me with love-
Wrap your arms around me let me feel your love…
Roses so red, so soft and so fragrant…
That’s how you are to me, that’s my love for you.
Roses so red, roses so fragrant, roses so soft, roses so lovely…
That’s my love for you.
Roses are red, Roses are red…
Dividing my time between writing (as a job), thinking about him, texting bros to check them up, thinking of him, lunch with Jen, thinking of him, and writing.
My mind is divided, it’s lost among the worries, fears and love. My heart is nowhere near me. It’s in AZ. I try not to cry, I try not to think. Things are gonna be fine. He’s going to be fine. The birthday will be fine.
What’s next for me. If not with him then it’s me alone, alone, alone and sad.
Hate the distance but I love God. There’s a reason. We both know that. Are we unfortunate? But love is a wonderful gift. So I think not. Distance is just distance. But love is love.
Gotta go home now. Gotta think of him. Even if I don’t, my heart and my mind will always do.
Love you. I know you know. GOOD. =]
How far can it see the distance?
How strong can it stand the absence?
How much can it give?
But when we love, all these have no answer…
All these we don’t question..
So long as a heart loves
It only waits the ONE for all times
It only sees the ONE throughout the distance
Its only strength is the ONE
And it gives its all for the ONE…
Honey,
I will always love you now until forever…I have loved you for how many lifetimes, I will love you till the next ones…
Always and Forever…
Troy is a man I could ever wish for. Not because he’s perfect but because he’s right for me. I just know that with each other we will grow in to better persons. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him and I wish, on his 39th birthday I can indeed make him something and not just in pictures. =]
I’ve been working as a writer for four months now and by far, I can confidently say that this is the smartest career move have I made so far. Me being a writer never ever crossed my mind as a young dreamer. I have always wanted to live a corporate life. Luckily though I was given a chance to live out that dream. My one year stint in Manila made me experience just that. But soon I learned, corporate life is a very cut-throat venue and for a peace loving country girl that I am, I realize I couldn’t stand all the pushing and stepping just so you could grab the favor of your bosses. Soon enough I realized I had to compromise my values if I wanted to stay.
Yes I was earning a lot and I have a lucrative job ( meaning stressful and fast-paced). I was spending left and right for the things I have always wanted that they barely fit my closet. Dining and nightlife was my way to de-stress. I partied out with friends and met people. Then after all these I would go home alone asking my self, why I still felt lacking? In short I wasn’t happy. I realized money is not everything and the dream job you’ve always wanted could turn out not so right for you. That’s when I decided to leave the big city and return to the comforts of my humble home. My return had been a soul searching time for me. And luckily, God showed me the right thing that I should be doing, Writing.
It came as a “no choice” opportunity for me. I applied because that’s the only job offer I think I can do. When I applied the only training I carried with me was essay writing tasks in gradeschool. The company asked me to write a sample article and upon doing so I made sure I didn’t have any wrong grammars and that’s it. The rest they say is history.
Everyday since I’ve been loving this job more and more. Everyday I look forward to tapping the computer. Everyday I’m excited to pull out things from my brain so I could write something. It is exciting.
Right now I don’t receive a paycheck as high as my previous job but I realize this is the job that I want. The brain storming is very challenging and the appreciation of my work is very fulfilling. That’s more important to me. What’s more I wanna improve on this. I am greatly looking forward to that day.
In life, we are handed things that we’ve always wanted just to realize we don’t want it all along. Things and people that are meant for us could come from unimaginable circumstance and unexpected turns. And whatever our experiences may be, we should make sure that each day we learn something from it. Those lessons will make us wiser and will be useful for the coming things we think we want.
