the world according to a procrastinating daydreamer

Due to the circumstance of URL block, which the company I work at is so eager to implement, I have been outcasted from my friendster network. all my friends are there, all of the philippines is there except those who live in the mountains, all of my happy networking galore is there. im blessed to have an internet connection at my workstation,and i am thankful, and blockage of youtube i can live with but i was hoping not with friendster! so this dilemma incured one thing (and networking is part of my system so no blames if im so eager to ahold of my addiction), and that is to sign up with myspace. i know there’s facebook and others but to non-americans or non-other country-ians, myspace is the closest bet to friendster. so, there i gathered all my wits to create an account, upload some pictures, invited some celebs coz they’re the only ones i know that habituate the outside world (except for my mother-side family in chicago whom i know will be too busy to have a friendster anyway),and waited for confirmations and waited for other invites for me. but alas none came for when i searched the archives i dont know a single person! i feel ridiculuous. my friends are just not there…so anyway, instead of sulking and grouching infront of my computer i just took a deep breath and settled my brain to the fact that ishould just start making friends to strangers. i guess something good will come out of this anyhow. i’ll just wait for a few days more. but still, im missing my friendster….

It’s 8:46 am and I’m here at an office where I am trying out to be a content writer. For a start, I have never intented nor studied to become a writer. I studied engineering in colege so obviously the literary world was a farfetched idea then. See how amazing fate works. Or should I say, economic instability that led me and other  graduates to jump in to a totally different path. I am not complaining. I am merely questioning life and its unsolicited elements. Before this stint, I have been to several job interviews that, although led to a favorable conclusion, concluded in only that; conclusion. It was very frustrating. To think that you’re really ready and that you thought you’d make it, but in the end they just look pass you. If only self advertising is not so vulgar and brow raising, I have already done it to point out my plans and ambitions. But I guess that’s the perk of being employed; you get to choose your own people.

So one morning, instead of being angry with God for the humiliation and frustration that He put me through, I’ve decided to just accept it and consider it His will. I thought that sure He can do whatever He wants to do with me. And bam! here I am. I was given a chance to display my hidden-coz-it’s-not-really-that-good talent. Gosh writing…what am I doing??? Will I be accepted? Please God stop with the humiliation already. I had too much. You know I’m very sensitive. I never, ever liked to be humiliated and feel embarrased.

So 20 minutes had passed. The boss haven’t still assigned me a job. It could mean a lot of things you know. Could be because she have no work for me to do and she’s just hesitant to shoo me out. But one thing though, when I prayed to God for guidance, I said I will never expect anything at all. So if I dont get in, that’s fine. I’d look for a job elsewhere. Never give up!

Okay you can throw me the results now. I’m ready….